Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Many people in relationships experience challenges, disconnection, or distress at some point. In fact, research suggests that nearly 20% of married couples are unhappy at any given time. But unhappiness doesn't always stem from dramatic or obvious issues—it’s often the result of ongoing patterns, unspoken disappointments, or missed opportunities for connection.

This is where couples therapy (also called couples counseling) can make a meaningful difference.

Whether you’re feeling like strangers, stuck in conflict, struggling with a betrayal, or simply want to improve communication, therapy offers a space to rebuild your connection—with evidence-based tools and guidance designed for long-term change.

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What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that supports people in a committed relationship as they work through challenges, improve understanding, and create healthier ways of interacting. It’s based on the idea that relationships are dynamic and can be strengthened with insight, communication skills, and mutual effort.

This form of therapy can help you:

• Navigate disagreements and repair conflict
  
• Rebuild trust after infidelity or betrayal
  
• Deepen emotional intimacy and connection
  
• Clarify long-term goals and shared values
  
• Cope with external stressors as a team
  
  

Couples therapy doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. In fact, many couples begin therapy proactively—whether they’re moving in together, preparing for marriage, or navigating new phases of life, like parenthood or career shifts. In actuality, many couples wait too long or until significant issues arise before seeking help. Starting therapy early can prevent small concerns from becoming major problems.

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Why Do Couples Seek Therapy?

The top reasons that couples seek therapy include poor communication, unrealistic expectations of partners, relationship dissatisfaction, and a lack of love and intimacy. Partners might struggle with fighting rather than resolving issues, feeling partners are over demanding, underappreciative, withdrawn, or closed off. Other forms of stress can include finances, differing values, jealousy, betrayal or infidelity, in-laws, passing of a person of significance, negative life events, illness, or feeling excluded as a partner’s life changes, to name a few.

In some cases, one partner might also feel hesitant about therapy. That’s okay. A skilled couples therapist will meet you where you are and create a space where both partners feel heard and comfortable, without blame or judgment.

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How Does Couples Therapy Work?

Couples therapy is a collaborative process that is rooted in mutual understanding, curiosity, and growth. It’s designed to help partners navigate challenges, rediscover connection, improve communication, and learn how to better support each other emotionally, practically, and relationally.

During this type of counseling, we work on making relationships more mutually rewarding, increasing positive experiences and caring behaviors, improving joint problem solving, promoting compromise and conflict resolution, establishing healthy boundaries, improving overall communication, increasing appreciation of one another, and stopping disruptive behavioral patterns. We also work on examining how both partners’ assumptions about each other and previous life experiences leads to potential misunderstandings, labeling, unwanted reactions, or unforeseen consequences.

The goal of therapy isn’t just to solve problems, but to build a stronger foundation moving forward. You’ll practice new ways of relating, deepen your understanding of each other, and learn how to maintain the gains long after therapy ends.

Leading Frameworks Used for Couples Therapy

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT):
  EFT helps partners understand their emotional needs and attachment patterns. By identifying negative cycles and deepening emotional responsiveness, EFT creates a safer, more connected relationship. It is one of the most evidence-backed approaches in couples therapy, with long-lasting results.
  
• The Gottman Method:
  Grounded in decades of research, the Gottman Method emphasizes strengthening the friendship at the core of the relationship. It provides practical tools for managing conflict, increasing respect and affection, and building shared meaning in everyday life.
  
• Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy (CBCT):
  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used approach and is highly effective for most issues people bring to therapy. CBCT is a form of CBT curated for couples counseling. This therapy focuses on changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors that contribute to relationship stress. Couples learn to question negative assumptions, reframe their thinking, and develop healthier ways to relate, communicate, and problem-solve. 
• Enhanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Couples (eCBT-C):A newer form of CBCT, eCBT-C expands beyond the traditional cognitive-behavioral framework by looking beyond partners' moment-to-moment interactions to consider the broader context of the relationship. It focuses on each partner’s individual traits, the couple’s dynamic patterns, and the influence of their interpersonal and physical environment. This approach builds on the foundation of CBCT while integrating more personalized and flexible strategies to address deeper relationship dynamics.‍
• Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT): IBCT blends practical behavior change strategies with a strong focus on emotional acceptance. Rather than trying to eliminate all differences, this approach helps partners better understand and respond to each other’s emotional pain. Through techniques like empathic joining and unified detachment, couples learn to reduce blame, increase compassion, and strengthen connection—even when conflicts persist. IBCT is especially useful for couples who feel stuck in long-standing patterns or repeated arguments.
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Each framework offers something unique. Your couples therapist will select the tools and techniques that best suit your relationship, ensuring care is customized, respectful, and effective.

Building a More Positive Relationship

At its core, relationship satisfaction often comes down to a simple equation: the ratio of positive to negative interactions. Research suggests that thriving relationships typically have at least five positive interactions for every one negative. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true—just one criticism, dismissive comment, or moment of disconnection can outweigh several kind or caring gestures.

This is why successful couples therapy doesn’t just focus on resolving conflict; it also helps partners increase positive connection through everyday interactions—whether that’s through small acts of appreciation, better communication, or shared moments of enjoyment or warmth. Strengthening the positive while reducing the negative creates a more resilient, fulfilling relationship and lays the foundation for lasting change.

What Is the Success Rate of Couples Counseling?

Couples counseling has been shown to be highly effective, but it is essential that both partners are committed to the process.

Success in therapy begins with showing up with openness, consistency, and a willingness to grow. It’s also important to redefine what success means. For some couples, it’s about staying together and feeling stronger than ever. For others, it may be about finding clarity, closure, or a more respectful path forward. Either way, couples therapy helps illuminate that path with care, guidance, and deep respect for your journey as individuals and partners.

Research consistently shows that couples who engage in empirically supported therapies—those tested in clinical trials and grounded in decades of study—experience stronger, more lasting outcomes than those in unstructured, purely supportive, or non-evidence-based counseling.

For example, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has some of the most robust data, with 70–75% of couples moving from distress to recovery and up to 90% seeing meaningful improvement. The Gottman Method and Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy (CBCT) are also backed by extensive research, showing long-term gains in relationship satisfaction, communication, and conflict resolution.

Newer models like Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT) and Enhanced CBCT (eCBT-C) build on this foundation. IBCT has demonstrated equal or greater effectiveness than traditional CBCT in large-scale studies, particularly for couples facing chronic conflict or emotional distance. eCBT-C is a more recent evolution that incorporates emerging techniques such as emotion regulation and values-based work; while early findings are very promising, research is ongoing.

Choosing a well-supported therapeutic approach can make a meaningful difference in how effective couples counseling will be—and how lasting the change can feel.

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Ways to Begin Couples Therapy

Couples therapy may begin in a few different ways, depending on the therapist’s approach and your unique situation. Some therapists start with one-on-one sessions with each partner to better understand individual perspectives, histories, and goals before bringing you together. Others may begin with a joint session and then schedule individual meetings as needed to explore personal dynamics more deeply. In some cases, therapy remains primarily joint from the start, with occasional individual sessions woven in to support the work. Your therapist will recommend a structure that best supports your relationship and helps you both feel safe, heard, and understood.

What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session

The first couples therapy session is about setting the tone for the work ahead. It’s a chance to begin building trust with each other and with your therapist, in a space that is supportive, neutral, and nonjudgmental.

Here’s what you can expect:

• A welcoming, respectful environment where both partners feel seen and heard
  
• Thoughtful questions about your relationship history, areas of concern, and shared goals
  
• An overview of the structure of therapy, including session frequency, confidentiality, and how progress will be tracked
• A clear understanding of how therapy can support your growth as a couple and help you navigate challenges more effectively
  
• An opportunity to reflect not only on challenges, but also on what’s working, and the strengths you bring as a couple
  
  

Many couples describe feeling a sense of relief after the first session. Just showing up is a meaningful first step. It signals care, courage, and a willingness to move forward, together.

When Should You Consider Couples Counseling?

You don’t need to wait for a breaking point to benefit from couples therapy. Many couples seek counseling not because their relationship is in crisis, but because they want to understand each other better, communicate more effectively, or reconnect emotionally. Still, there are some signs that suggest it may be the right time to start. 

If you find yourselves having the same arguments without resolution, feeling more like roommates than romantic partners, noticing resentment or dissatisfaction building, or if small conflicts quickly spiral into larger ones, it may be time to reach out. Couples therapy is also a supportive space to navigate the aftermath of betrayal or secrecy, work through important life decisions together—such as moving, having children, or getting married—or even to deepen a bond that already feels strong. Even within the first few sessions, therapy can illuminate unhelpful patterns and offer new ways to reconnect and grow.

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Finding the Right Couples Therapist in NYC

A good connection with your therapist is one of the most important aspects of couples therapy. The right therapist will be someone who is specially trained in evidence-based methods, and who brings warmth, clinical skill, and an ability to hold space for both partners in a balanced, nonjudgmental way. They should be licensed in your state and experienced in working with a wide range of relationship dynamics, identities, and concerns. 

Take the First Step for Couples Therapy in NYC with CBTAA

Whether you’ve been together for decades or are just starting to build a life together, couples therapy can be a meaningful and transformative experience. It isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional.

If you’re ready to rebuild trust, reduce conflict, improve communication, or simply reconnect, we’re here to help. Our licensed couples therapists offer both in-person and virtual sessions and serve clients across New York City, New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. No matter what your relationship looks like today, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Schedule your consultation today.

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